WHITE!!!!; The color of your heart?????????????
(A wall flower’s guide to finding God)
Chapter 7
(The girl who cried wolf….)
I gulped down saliva as I tried to convince my elder sister, Itunu, that I hadn’t been trying to insult her with my words.
What was she doing here?
Why couldn’t she just stay away from me?
“I’m just joking Ileri. Stop looking so scared. Your friend here will think that I’m bullying you.” Itunu said, a smile spreading across her face.
I broke out in a cold sweat, feeling tears clog my eyelids.
She always knew how to push my buttons, and just being around her was mentally draining.
“O—oh.” I muttered weakly, feeling too exhausted to talk.
She directed her attention at Sean, flashing him a sultry smile.
“Hi! Are you Ileri’s boyfriend?”
“Itunu….!” I said helplessly. How could she just ask him that out of the blue?!
Sean gave me a glance, then looked back at my sister.
“Nope. I’m just her coursemate.”
“Aww! Well, Ileri knows better than to frolick around with boys. Who would even want to date her anyway? People like her should concentrate more on their studies. You have a bit of an accent oh! Have you lived abroad before?”
Her words came out in quick succession, pleasant and soothing, as she managed to so comfortably say something demeaning about me and then change the topic.
“Oh don’t mind me! I’m just so happy when I meet my sister’s friends! Sorry if I made you uncomfortable!”
Uncomfortable is an understatement.
God.
I felt like I would go crazy where I was standing.
“Well….I guess I’ll leave you two to talk now.” Sean said softly and I glanced up in desperation, hoping he could read what I couldn’t say in my eyes.
No.
Please.
Don’t leave me alone with her.
He caught my expression and held his gaze on mine for awhile, before turning and heading out of the church building.
I bit my lip in defeat.
My sister linked her arms in mine.
“Mmm! I’ve missed you oh my teddy. It’s been what- five months since we last saw?”
“Y-yes.”
“You look good. Trying to dress like me right? Haha, you’ll never be like me. Sit down nah.” She said cheerfully, leading me to a bench and we both sat down.
“Mummy said I should greet you. She said you never call. Just yesterday she was telling me how much of an ungrateful child you are.” My sister said casually, laughing lightly, like she had just made a normal statement.
“I-I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“Why are you sorry? You see that is what I don’t like about you. You take insults too easily, you behave too much like a mumu. If mummy gives you wahala, give her wahala back.” She whispered back at me, her eyes wide and her tone serious.
I felt my saliva choking me in my throat.
“After all, it’s not your fault she prefers me to you.” She added again, then clapped her hands.
“Oh! That’s right! I brought you something!” She chirped gaily, then reached into her bag and brought out a beautiful pair of sandals.
“Wow…..Itunu….thanks so much.”
“No problem dear, I remembered you said that you liked this particular pair, so I got it for you.”
I blushed. “Wow. That was so long ago. Thanks for remembering.”
Bet you all are confused by my sister’s character right?
Well you cannot be more confused than me.
I’ve lived with her my whole life.
One minute she would be mean and say completely horrible things, then other times she would be a totally different person.
Like I said, it was hard to stay sane around her.
She patted me on the head fondly.
“Okay oh, big sis has to go now, don’t miss me too much! And please call mummy once in awhile. If she dies of heartbreak it’ll be your fault oh!” She said again cheerily and sauntered out of the building.
I remained on the bench, staring morosely into space for a few seconds before sighing heavily and getting up.
I grabbed my bag and began to head out.
I stopped as I spotted Sean leaning on the wall outside the door.
Had he been waiting for me?
My blood boiled with unbridled anger.
“What are you doing here?” I asked fiercely.
He looked up at me. “What does it look like? I’m waiting for you.”
“Who asked you to wait?”
He stood up straight, lowering his eyes to mine.
“You did.”
My voice caught in my throat.
He had noticed. He had read my eyes.
“No I didn’t. Did you hear me say it with my mouth?”
He stared at me silently.
“Don’t wait for me if I don’t ask you. What goes on in my life is none of your business.” I spat out stubbornly, turning away from him.
I heard him sigh, then begin to walk away from me, until I couldn’t his footsteps anymore.
Feyi ran up to me.
“Ileri! Who did I see just now? Was it Itunu?”
I began to walk away from her angrily.
“Wait! Are you okay?” She said, grabbing my hand.
I yanked my hand out of her grip.
“I’m fine. Shabi I told you since to let us go, but you must always be church mother every Sunday.” I said spitefully, even though I knew she wasn’t at fault.
Feyi sighed. “I’m sorry.”
Her apology only made me angrier.
“But….Ileri….I hope there was no fight this time? Just bear with them okay? I still believe God can mend your relationship with your family.”
My rage meter burst.
“Oh my gosh Feyi, can you stop dreaming? What’s there to mend? You’re asking me to bear with them? Anyway I can’t blame you, since you’re not the one in my shoes. And can’t someone just talk normally to you without you bringing God into the conversation?”
“Ileri….you know the best thing I can offer is God. I don’t have anything or anyone else.”
“Well then maybe I should stop relying on you.” I said breathlessly, regretting every word as it left my mouth.
“I know you don’t mean that Ileri, so I won’t hold it against you. Let’s go home. It’s been a long day.” She said calmly.
Feyikemi was too much of a good friend to me.
I didn’t deserve her, I couldn’t do half of what she was doing for me to anyone.
And I don’t know anyone else who could put up with the nonsense I just gave her.
This was how my sister always disorganized my life each time she made an appearance.
But make no mistake, I’m no better.
I mean, look at how I took out my frustration on my best friend and Sean, who was only doing what I had asked him to.
Feyi held my hand tenderly, and wordlessly led me to flag down a Keke on the road, as I forced tears back into my eyes.
I was so ready for this day to be over.
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