By Samuel Favour

Eric Williams

“I hate you” Nyx said and everything around me came to a pause.

I stared at Nyx , it hurts. My heart was aching.



But before I could say anything she ran to the bathroom leaving me heartbroken.

What have I done?

I fucking warned her to let me out of the room, I tried but she didn’t listen to me.

But was I to blame her, no. I should have controlled myself.

Why does everyone hate me?

I’m I that far from happiness.

I could hear Nyx sob from the bathroom and I felt like a thousand needle piercing through my heart slowly making it hard for me to breath

I touch my chest trying to breathe.

I was having another panic attack.

I need my inhaler.

I tried to get it from the table near the lamp but I fell on the floor.

It was getting hard to breathe and my vision was getting blurry.

I managed to grab it as I placed it between my mouth, not wasting any time inhaling it to calm my nerves down.

I was never an asthmatic patient before but after the death of my mom I was traumatized .

At least I had Seth and Ariel back then and I was slowly getting away with it but after Ariel died.

The bI.ood, nice, I watched her dead body lying brutally on the floor with her clothes looking awful

It became worse, it’s like I couldn’t live again with my inhaler, it even got worse with the nightmares.

When I think I’m already getting away and moving from the part Nyx keeps hurting me reminding me of the mo.nster I am.

I could bear with her calling me a mo.nster but a murderer I couldn’t.

It hurts

Why do people keep hurting me?

Don’t I deserve to be loved?

Don’t I deserve happiness?

I didn’t know that my eyes were already teared up.

Now she hates me , which I was trying to avoid.

I was going to tell her everything, about my past, Ryder, Ariel, every single thing that ever happened to me even if I’m nit yet comfortable opening up to her.

I’ll still tell her but now she hates me.

I got dressed and went to my office in the house tskiny y bath and brushing my teeth. I changed to a hoodie and gray joggers.

I think staying away from her will be the only thing I can think of. Because the more I stay close to her , the more she’ll be irritated by me but I’ll still be checking if everything is okay.

I rested my head backwards closing my eyes as I was plug into another nightmare

I was late, when I tried to call Ariel but her phone didn’t go through.

I went to her parents home but they haven’t seen her either for a week now.

A lot of things were going on in my mind and that’s when I knew that Ryder was also gone too.

I hope it wasn’t what I was thinking.

I told my trackers to find her by last location but seeing it was in the woods where Ryder and his father were camping.

It was strange.

I went there with Seth with me , Seth was already having a bad idea about this and I tried to think positively.

After 4 hours of driving I immediately got out of the car.

There was bI.ood on the floor, the house looked scattered with broken furnitures, glass everywhere.

I followed the bI.ood with my hands shaking hoping it’s not Ariel or Ryder’s bI.ood

It led to the basement and immediately I opened it. The site I saw left me traumatized .

I was right. I rushed to Ariel but she was already gone. I tried looking for Ryder but Seth tapped my back pointing to a direction.

He stood there shocked.

I looked to where his hand was pointing.

It was dark but I saw a figure coming out to the light and seeing the person I felt my heart betrayed, stabbed right in the chest.

There was the person holding a knife in his hand, bI.ood everywhere on his face, clothes , I looked at Ariel in my arms then back at the person.


Was all I could ask.

But the person standing didn’t look remorseful at all , his eyes held no regret that he was proud of what he did.

And that person was none other than…..

I jumped up from my nightmare, opening my eyes and my hands were shaking.

The same nightmare again

Ever since I started sleeping close to Nyx I haven’t had any nightmares since but now, I guess I’m back to the way it was again.

I just hope she forgives me, I don’t want her to leave me alone.

She makes me feel things that I had for Ariel and I’m yet to understand those feelings but I’m scared .

I just hope she forgives me soon , because if she doesn’t I’ll never forgive myself.

I haven’t even forgiven Myself for not being on time before Ariel died .

I’ll even hate myself more because I’m already suffering from self hate already.

I don’t want another thing added to it again .


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