Enemies of the Church!
Composed and written by Excelrhymez
Aka Mummy E
Episode 16.
It’s been a month since the open confession of Reverend Leo in the church but the news was still trending like it just happened. Courtesy of Stella and Vic. Helen was the one in charge of physical gossips.
This fateful Tuesday they met again in a salon where they normally make thier hair and Helen was the one who started the discussion.
Helen: But babes una bad ooooo, you girls keep updating the internet an Facebook about the happenings in church. How much Mark Zucherberg don pay una for this update wey una day do?
Vic: Ah don’t go there o, our church gist is the hottest in town o, do you know how many followers I now have on Instagram just because of my updates?
Stella: Ah, you too? My Instagram followers grew overnight from two thousand followers to sixteen thousand followers.
Helen: Are you serious?
Vic: Mine is eleven thousand from one hundred followers.
Helen: Really?
Stella: Dey there!
Helen: But na wa o. In the church again o. A whole man of God.
Vic: The caption I used on my update was. “Popular man of God killed a little girl and hide it for sixteen years” oh boy , come and see requests to follow me, come and see comments.
The girls burst out laughing…
Stella: Mine was ” Man of God who murdered a young girl in cold blood sixteen years ago finally exposed..”
Helen: Habba, all this una caption is too much na. It was our Reverend that came out to confess by himself , it’s not like he was caught na. Why are you guys now doing it as if he was caught?
Vic: ah, how will the story sell if we don’t add our own salt and pepper. We need to put something that will make people want to read you know?
Stella: Before nkor, abeg leave that girl wey no know anything. Ehn! How about Brother Gbenga, so he just let reverend go like that, after how many years of looking for his daughter’s killer.
Helen: Yes o, I heard he came back to church and told Rev that he has forgiven him that he was glad he told him the truth.
Stella: Are you serious?
Helen: Yes o, they even hugged in the church and laughed together. That man has a forgiven heart. A heart of gold .
Vic: (smiling to herself) Done!
The girls turned and looked at her.
Helen: What is done?
Vic: Ah! The update on Brother Gbenga and our pastor. I just uploaded it on my WhatsApp and Instagram.
Helen: Ah! Just now just now? You did not even confirm weather I’m lying or not.
Vic: what is there to confirm?
Stella: For your mind now you smart abi. Anyways I will take my time to do my own update.
Vic: Na you sabi, my news are authentic, sharp and first. So before Stella and others start updating mine has gone far. That’s the deal baby!
Helen: Ehn girls, have you girls noticed our Reverend’s wife lately?
Vic: Senior mummy? What is wrong with her?
Helen: you’ve not noticed?
Stella: Noticed what na?
Stella: Uhmmmm, it’s like God has finally heard thier cry o.
Stella: How do you mean?
Helen: I suspect she might be pregnant!
Vic: ewooooo Helen, you talk this one. Preg what? Preg gini? As how na?
Stella: After how many years? Abeg if you no get gist make you keep quiet. No come day talk rubbish.
Helen: When have I ever talked rubbish? I said I suspect I didn’t say she is.
Vic: okay why you talk like that?
Helen: okay see, recently I saw her vomiting at the back of the church. And I felt she was sick. Then she started spitting all over the place. And just last night I saw her buying a drug at the chemist.
Stella: Which kain drug?
Helen: Pregnacare! Though she was already keeping it in her bag when I entered but I spied and I saw it.
Vic: ah that will be good o. (She starts pressing her phone)
Stella: What are you doing? Don’t tell me you’ve started updating o,
Vic: Before nkor!
Stella: Stop that rubbish jare. Have you confirmed that she is pregnant? You are already posting.
Vic: wetin concern me with confirm. I already posted it, sorry!
Helen: Jesus! Vic e be like say I no go dey talk for your presence again o.
Vic: soo wetin concern me, you talk you no talk , one way or the other people will still hear.
Stella: Lemme see what you posted! (She collects the phone and looks at it. She saw the caption that Vic had used) ” After 12 years of waiting, Reverend Leo’s wife finally gets pregnant”. Babe but na wa for you o, what if she is not pregnant.
Vic: Ehn, na all pregnancy dey reach term? E mean say the belle get accident for road. Another update be that.
The hair stylist who was irritated by the girls could not help herself anymore she quickly spoke up.
Hair Stylist: sorry to interrupt but what you girls are doing is totally wrong. Even if your church had the worst pastors on Earth, it’s your duty to protect and be loyal to your pastors. Not sell them out up the world.
Helen: wetin this one dey talk?
Stella: yes who call you for the matter?
Hair Stylist: sorry but I have been listening and seeing what you’ve been doing. It’s wrong. The bible says we should judge not , but you girls have been gossiping your church and pastor since you came in here. You who is supposed to even protect them is the one selling them to the world. And even with fake news. Why! It’s totally wrong.
Vic: Erm pastor wife, mind the hair weh you dey do. Nobody call you for out talk, you hear me? Amebo.
Hair Stylist: sorry.
Stella : sorry for yourself. Do your hair jare.
The lady continued with her hair as the girls continued insulting her job.
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