CHILDHOOD CRUSH :Episode 21 – 30

?Written by Authoress Kamara

Episode 27

?Elsa?
“What the heck are you saying?”. I asked curious.

“What I am saying is that he r@ped my girlfriend, Brie, just because she refused his stupid advances”.

I was stunned by what Kyle said? Bryan did that? It was like my head swiveled around. I couldn’t even think anymore as what Kyle said sinked into my mind.

“Thats a lie”. I interjected.

Bryan can never do that, although he did mention a certain girl named Brie but no, no, no. The Bryan Stark I know can never do something like that.

“A lie? You don’t believe me then ask him yourself”. Kyle said.

Its a lie, its all a lie. Elsa, Kyle is just saying that so as to diffuse your emotions for Bryan.

I clutched to my backpack tightly as I ran out of the class ignoring Kyle’s calls. I went ahead to the Cafeteria.

I stopped as my eyes scanned the cafeteria looking for Beverly. I sighted her with Carl at one end.

I went over to her. “Beverly, we need to talk”.

She looked at me. “Elsa, is something wrong? You look shaken”.

Of course I look shaken, i just heard some stupid horrifying truth about the guy i’ve come to love. On the inside of me, i felt broken as to what I heard.

“Lets go, Beverly”. I said firmly.

“But ..”.

“Beverly”.

She stood up reluctantly and I dragged her out of the cafeteria looking for an empty class. We reached one and I pushed her in with me.

She crossed her arms. “What is it?”.

“How long have you known?”. I asked nervously.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Known what?”.

“That Brie stuff, about Bryan r@ping her”. I told her tearfully.

“Elsa”.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”.

Her face changed. “Elsa, before you judge him, give him a chance to explain”.

I sniffed as tears rolled my cheeks, Beverly quickly came forward and hugged me.

“Please don’t tell me its true”. I whispered.

She patted my back. “Elsa, just calm down”.

I sobbed weakly on Beverly’s shoulder as I hugged her tightly.

“He told you, right?”.

I pulled away to see Carl. “What?”.

“Kyle, he must have been the one who told you”.

I cleaned my tears. “He did tell me but__”.

“You need to listen to Bryan first”. Beverly interrupted me.

“I can’t”. I whispered lowly.

“Please, he needs you right now. He needs someone by his side”.

I looked at Carl. “Where is he?”.

“At the garden”. He replied lowly.

I rushed out of the class running towards the school garden. I need to see him, i stepped in and sighted him on one of the benches with light stand.

I walked towards him. “Bryan?”.

He looked up and saw me, his eyes were red and swollen with dark circles under them probably from crying and he looked a mess.

“You came”. He said.

I stood there watching him.

“I thought you didn’t want to speak with me”.

“I never said that”. I told him.

“You insinuated it after all you avoided me for two whole weeks”.

“I didn’t want to get caught up in all this mess between you and him”.

“So why are you here now?”.

I sat next to him quietly.

He chuckled sadly. “He told you”.

I didn’t say anything.

“I know you must hate me by now”. He spoke up.

I fiddled with my fingers. “I don’t hate you”.

He rested on the bench. “You don’t have to lie”.

“How did it happened?”. I ask softly.

“Kyle must have told you”.

“I wanna hear your side of the story”.

He shrugged. “Does it matter? You would leave me anyway”.

“Bryan …”. I trailed off.

“No one wants to be with someone like me”. He added.

“Bryan, what you did was in the past and should be forgotten in the past”. I told him.

“What I did was horrible and I regret it badly”. He continued.

“Everyone has their past they don’t wanna remember”. I mumbled

“I don’t want you to pity me, Elsa”.

I stared at him. “Pity? I understand what you are going through”.

“You can never understand because you have never been in that position before, r@ping someone is something that never be forgiven and what I did was__”.

“I am a v!ctim of r@pe”. I said interrupting him.

He paused. “What?”.

“I have a horrible past too, really horrible”.

“What are you talking about?”. He asked looking confused.

I sniffed. “When girls talk about their first k!ss, their first s*x and how sparks fly, i cry inside of me when I remember that my Dad took my first everything”.

He immediately pulled me into a hug, my tears fell remembering everything. The things that I’ve been trying to hide all my life.

He wrapped his hands around me as he comforted me but that didn’t help as I only cried the more.

“Elsa”. He whispered.

We stayed like that for a while before I pulled away.

“This makes me feel more guilty because__”.

I cut him off. “You were caught under bad circumstances”.

“But that doesn’t still cover up the fact that I did something that horrible”.

I held his hands. “You have a gaping hole in your heart that seems void and you keep blaming yourself for everything”.

“I keep blaming myself because I caused everything”. He said tearfully.

“The only way you can remove this guilt is to share what choking you up with someone”.

He shook his head negatively. “I don’t know, Elsa. You might hate me and I don’t want to take that risk”.

I squeezed his palm softly. “I won’t, just trust me. I’ll understand”.

“And you won’t judge me?”. He asked uncertain.

“My happy life was perfect until I turned ten, my Dad started touching me int!mately every chance he got, he touched every part of my body mostly my pr!vate parts”.

I hugged my knees to my chest as tears rolled down my eyes.

“Elsa, please don’t”. Bryan whispered.

“I just want to share this with someone because this has been choking me up ever since”.

“Did you tell someone about it when he started?”. He asked curious.

“I told my Mum and i could remember how she looked shocked and surprised”.

“Did she believe you?”.

I shrugged. “I didn’t really know yet at that time but that day, i heard my Mum and Dad both arguing in their room”.

“Tristan?”.

I sniffed. “He was just seven at that time”.

He drew me closer to him. “It must have been really bad for you”.

“It was worse than bad because I had no one to talk to not even Beverly because the situation was awkward”.

He held my palm and c@ressed it which gave me the urge to continue.

“It became worse when he came to my room when I was fourteen, I felt someone touching me so I woke up seeing my Dad staring at me lvstfully”.

I cleaned my tears as I continued talking.

“As I realized what he was about to do, i pushed him away immediately but he held me back pulling me close to him”.

Tears gathered in my eyes but I was too weak to cry.

“I tried to resist him but it didn’t work, i used every method available instead he ended up taking my v!rginity that night”.

I looked at Bryan and saw how hard he was trying to hold back his tears which made me broke down in tears.

He held me close to him and patted my back as I sobbed in his chest.

“Elsa please stop crying, you are hurting me”.

I couldn’t help as i hugged him tighter, he held me like that for a while.

“And thats my story”. I said sadly.

He pulled away. “You never looked like someone going through things like that”.

“I never showed it because I didn’t want pity from anyone”.

“Where is he now?”.

I knew he was referring to my Dad.

“After that night, I told my Mum everything that happened so she annulled her marriage with Dad taking Tristan and I to Las Vegas leaving my Dad but he followed us claiming he wants custody of me”.

Bryan clenched his fists. “That b@stard”.

“So my Mum filed a court case against him charging him for rape and child abuse both physically and emotionally”. I told him. “But my Mum made Tristan and I stay back in SpringCity till the whole issue is dissolved”.

“Has the Court convicted him yet?”.

I shook my head negatively. “Nope, he’s still there but my Mum has a good lawyer”.

He raised my palm to his lips k!ssing it softly. “I’m sorry you had to go through that”.

I nodded sadly.

“Brie always embarrassed me every chance she got rubbing it in my face that she can never date someone like me because I’m a sore loser at least thats what she always said”. He said suddenly.

I intertwined our fingers as he talked.

“But that didn’t hurt me, what pained me the most was that my best friend turned against me just because of her”. He continued. “Kyle did anything she told him to do, he even broke our friendship just because of Brie”.

“I mean, i get it that Brie chose him over me but did he have to rub it all up in my face?”. He sniffed. “I stopped being friends with Kyle so as to avoid seeing his face along with Brie but that didn’t work because Brie would always taunt me every little chance she got”.

“What happened?”. I ask lowly.

“It was a party night, Brie did it again. I wanted to dissolve my anger so I took a few shots and consumed alcohol drinks a lot that night. I went up the stairs to a room so as to rest since I was developing headaches”.

I c@ressed his palm as he talked.

“Brie came to the room that I was and made fun of me, it was like as if she just hated my guts and wanted to watch me suffer”. He told me. “She ranted on and on about how I couldn’t control a few drinks”.

I stared at him silently as I heard him talk.

“I was about to leave the room for her when she kissed me unexpectedly so I k!ssed her back but I went too far, i didn’t know if it was because of my dizziness or the fact that I was plain stupid”.

“I could hear her screams and pleas as she begged me to stop but I didn’t listen instead flashing memories of her making my life miserable made me continue”. He told me. “I totally regret what I did because I ruined her life that very night”.

“Eventually everyone got to know what I did so they distanced theirselves from me, only Carl stayed with me. One day, Brie’s parents filed charges against me so I was arrested and i was suppose to go to Juvenile home since I was young to go to Jail”.

Tears rolled down his cheeks slowly.

“What I did broke my Mum so bad that she had a heart attack when the Cops came, she was taken to the hospital but it was too late as she died on her way”.

I gasped as he said that.

“My Dad went furious with me, not only because of what happened to my Mum, I ruined the image of his company”. He cried freely. “My Dad disowned me”.

“What?”.

“I still bear his surname but my Dad never acknowledged that he had a son from that day onward. He’s overseas now and still communicates with Mia and Tori but not me. The last time he talked to me was at my Mum’s burial four years ago when he lashed out his anger on me”.

“Bryan”. I called softly.

“For four years, he hadn’t talked to me but I get that because i caused the death of his beloved wife”. He wiped his cheeks swiftly. “Tori developed panic attacks ever since my Mum died but the worse was when Kyle came over to our house saying how I caused everything including my Mum’s death”.

“As if that wasn’t enough, Brie commited su!cide because of the taunts she received in class”. He continued. “Strangely, no one felt sorry for what I did to her, they all said that she deserved it being the b!tch she was”.

“And she took her life?”.

He nodded sadly. “She committed su!cide, she jumped from the top of the school building”.

I hugged him not wanting him to say anything anymore but he still continued.

“I was lucky for Brie’s parents to have dropped their charges against me so I didn’t go to Juvenile home but Kyle hated me because of that always saying it was all my fault, he would always remind me that I did something that horrible”.

“Did you try to talk to him?”.

“I apologized and tried to talk to him like a million times but he shut me out”. Bryan replied. “He clearly told me to my face that he would make sure that all the girls I will ever love would be totally embarrassed”.

“And he did it?”.

“Starting from Maddie, he made her move far away from me, he did all of that to all my girlfriends but he did the worst to Gabriella”.

“I feel sorry for her”.

“I don’t”.

I was taken aback. “You don’t?”.

“Most of my girlfriends, Maddie, Jade, Anna, they all left me because of what Kyle did to them but Gabriella left me because of what she heard about me”. He said. “I tried to tell her the whole truth but she shunned me”.

“She made me a complete mess all because I loved her badly, i felt dejected when she went ahead to date Kyle but I tried to warn her”. He continued. “She didn’t listen to me, the worst came when Kyle made mockery of her by uploading a s*x video of her”.

“She must have felt bad”. I muttered.

“She came to me crying but I didn’t want any of that so I walked away from her, i stopped interacting with girls until the day I met you”.

I looked at him. “Huh?”.

“When you came into Arts class that morning, i liked you at first instance so I told myself that no matter what. If eventually I win your love that I would never let Kyle get to you”. He told me truthfully.

My eyes glistened with tears at I stared at him, as I stared at his broken self. He lost everything, the first girl he fell in love with, his best friend, his Mum and his Dad who totally left him.

I love you so much, Bryan and I’m sorry for everything that has happened to you. And I’m glad that you got to open up to me, i won’t judge you for what you did although you can take part in the blame but still, you were caught under bad circumstances.

I saw more than what Kyle said about him, i saw a broken and shaken guy trying to hide his fears, insecurities and sufferings.

I threw my hands around him, he drew closer to me as he wrapped his hands around me pulling me into a warm hug.

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