WHITE!!!; The color of your heart ??????
(A wall flower’s guide to finding God)
Chapter 41
(You are not alone….)
The phone nearly dropped out of my hands when I heard Sean’s words.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me. Now get your silly self down to the hospital right now. Don’t you think you should be the first person she sees?”
My legs were already moving before he finished his sentence.
I ran onto the road, stupidly realizing now that I didn’t know where I was.
“God, please let me find a cab in time….”
It hadn’t even been five minutes after I had prayed that a cab honked in my direction.
I dashed in, and told the driver the name of the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital in thirty minutes, and I ran in, going upstairs and stopping in front of my sister’s room.
Rista was coming out of the bathroom, while Sean and Julia sat a few meters from the door, and sitting up in her bed, after almost eight months, was my darling sister Itunu.
A doctor stood by her side, quietly examining her.
Sean looked up at the intrusion, then sprang up and grabbed my hands.
He didn’t say a word, but I understood, and smiled cheekily at him.
The doctor finished up with my sister.
“So, Miss Williams, it looks like….well…you’re fine. Your vitals are great, among other things, it won’t be long before you’re out of the hospital.”
Julia and Rista clasped their hands together, muttering praises.
My heart was too heavy and full of joy, and I could hardly speak.
Itunu stared at me, then smiled weakly.
“The doctor already tested her and everything. Her memory’s fine, she remembers everyone and everything.” Julia said.
I grabbed my sister’s hands, and burst into a song.
“You have done so much for me, I cannot tell it all….Narekelemo……when you heal…you heal completely….Narekelemo…..Nara Nara eh…..narekele…. Narekelemo…..”
I sang and sang, and I felt tears dropping onto my hands. They weren’t mine, and I looked up and saw my sister crying.
“I….I’m sorry Ilerioluwa…. I’m….”
“Ehn….” I hugged her feeble body.
She was so thin and fragile.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about….. Itunu… don’t cry….ha….God has brought you back to me…..”
I heard Sean mutter something, and both he, Julia and Rista left the room, leaving me and my sister alone.
Itunu hugged me tighter, and I felt her body racking with sobs.
I hugged her back, hoping to give her some of my strength.
“Don’t cry, you can’t exert yourself oh! You need to take good care of yourself….”
I buried my head in her shoulders.
“I know I don’t say this at all Itunu….but…I love you my sister.”
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Itunu stayed in the hospital for a few more weeks, doing some physical therapy, as well as being monitored.
Over that time, I made her see a psychologist, and she didn’t object this time.
After a few sessions with her, the psychologist called me to give me her diagnosis.
Itunu was diagnosed with something called
Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID.
It was a mental condition where someone had more than one personality or “alters” living in them, or in their subconscious.
The condition was characterized by mood swings, loss of memory without being able to explain the loss, especially when the alter personality takes over the person.
The alters are usually completely different people from the original, having different and notable Character traits from the original person.
All of a sudden, all of Itunu’s random outbursts and unnerving personality changes began to make sense.
When I explained to the doctor that she had been displaying these symptoms for as long as I could remember, he asked why I hadn’t taken her to a psychiatrist since.
I smiled sadly and told him that in Nigeria, mental Illness is a taboo, and anybody who even mentions having it is called mad, and is ostracized.
“Miss Williams, mental Illness is a very rampant thing, and it is a medical condition, and should be treated as such. Because of beliefs like that, so many people suffer in silence, whereas if they had gotten the proper treatment, they probably would have been fine.”
I nodded sadly, imagining how many people were suffering like this in Nigeria, but because of stigma, and fear of what people would say, they just preferred to carry the burden alone.
I asked the doctor to elaborate more on Itunu’s condition.
“You see, DID is a very tricky condition. A person can have ranging from two, to even a hundred alters living in their bodies. An alter
is created during moments of extreme trauma, when the original person cannot deal or face the trauma on their own, so their brain creates another personality, or person to take over their mind, and face the problem. So most first alters are born during extreme trauma, usually experienced in childhood. Then others are created along the way, through out life.
Contrary to popular belief, and not just in Nigeria, a person with DID is not possessed by demons, but rather a victim of a weak mental state and their brain trying to create a way to cope with their lives.”
I nodded in understanding.
“You said sometimes the alter takes over doctor?”
“Yes….in moments of extreme duress or even when slightly triggered, the alter personality will come out, in order to protect the original person from experiencing the situation themselves. That’s why you said sometimes your sister seems like a completely different person.”
I fell back in my seat.
“This is all so confusing doctor. I mean, she is still the same person after all….”
“That’s why it’s one of the trickiest and amazing cases in mental health history. It justs shows that we’ll never properly understand the full extent of the human brain.”
“So what do we do?”
“It can be cured, but it could take years….we just need to find out the triggers, and convince her that she doesn’t need the alters anymore.”
I shook my head.
It wouldn’t take years for my sister to be cured in Jesus name.
And so, Itunu began her therapy.
Sean and I agreed to put our relationship on hold, so that I could properly take care of my sister.
The months rolled by quickly, and my Fame only grew, despite the fact that I hadn’t been working in a while.
I overworked myself, juggling Itunu and my work, but honestly, God was giving me rewards more than the work I was putting in.
I was being called on left and right, and somehow some private newspaper got hold of the fact that I was also taking care of my sister while juggling my career, and donations came in left and right, from all my former and current clients, to help ease my burden.
We hardly heard from my mother, as I had asked Itunu to avoid her calls for now.
Sean and I continued to talk from time to time, and I missed him terribly.
I could tell he missed me too.
“Ilerioluwa, after all this is over, I’m going to marry you.”
I felt my stomach churn.
“Don’t I even have a say in the matter?”
He laughed.
“You know we’re not getting any younger. You’re already 27, and I’m 26…..”
“Wait a second! Have I always been older than you?!”
I heard him chuckle mischievously.
“It’s just a year’s difference.”
“A whole year is not beans nah! He he, so I’m your senior…..”
His voice became low. Seishun sastsbasaron.
“All the more reason why you should hurry up and become my wife. You’ll soon get so old no one will want to marry you anymore.”
I cut the phone at that moment, and he called back, laughing and apologizing.
My sister continued to improve steadily, and the psychologist was stunned at her rapid progress.
I always smiled to myself when he informed me of her progress.
Mental Illness or not, God supercedes all.
I smiled at my sister as I sat beside her, bringing out a cooler of ogbono soup.
She smiled sadly at me.
“How’s my sister been doing?”
I asked cheerily.
She sighed.
“Great, but the food here is horrible.”
She had been transferred to a private mental hospital, where she would be properly monitored and given adequate therapy.
I came to see her everyday.
“That’s why I brought you some steamy ogbono!” I responded, laughing.
She smiled again at me, then averted her eyes from mine.
“Ilerioluwa….I….you shouldn’t be doing this…you should be living your life…not tied here taking care of me….”
“I’m not tied anywhere oh. I’m taking care of you because I want to. In fact, I’m enjoying myself right now. You just focus on getting better, that’s better than worrying about me.”
I Saw her bite her lip.
“But what about that boy , Sean? Don’t you love him? I shouldn’t be preventing you two from having a life together now. Go Ilerioluwa, go and…….”
“Itunu……” I held her hand.
“I’m not leaving you alone. Not anymore. Don’t you see? God has given me another chance to be your sister. I’m not losing it, okay? And Sean…well…he can wait.”
She smiled again, then heaved a deep breath.
“Okay Ilerioluwa. I think it’s time I told you the truth. The whole truth.”
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