WHITE!!!;The color of your heart?????????
(A wall flower’s guide to finding God)
Chapter 32
(Encounter…..)
Sean walked lightly across the hospital, making his final rounds for the day.
He was currently headed to a patient named Rista Winchester, who had fallen and sprained her ankle.
He sighed, rubbing his eyes, already exhausted.
What he really wanted to do now was to go home, and soak in a relaxing bath, then crashland on his bed.
Sure he was used to the procedures and stress now, but that didn’t make it any easier.
As soon as he had been done with school, his father had requested for him to come back to England. He had later found out that that was as a result of Julia’s constant arguments with him that he couldn’t just leave him in Nigeria.
Sean had fought Julia, telling her that he didn’t need to come back to a place where he wasn’t wanted, but Julia had told him that she wanted him, and that she wasn’t just going to leave him in Nigeria all alone.
To be frank, at that point it wasn’t like he really cared where he stayed, as long as he could eat and sleep.
He sighed. To an outsider, he was living a fulfilled life.
But many a times he still felt like just running away from it all.
And he also couldn’t understand himself.
Because ever since she had left, he had missed her terribly.
He had tried as much as he could, but he just couldn’t forget her.
She always showed up in one way or the other, whether it was in his dreams, or even manifestiyas hallucinations sometimes.
He eventually concluded that it was her absence in his life that made him feel so empty and apathetic about everything.
But this was the girl who had almost ruined his life.
So why on Earth couldn’t he get her out of his head?
He began to try and water down their relationship.
Calling just a youthful crush.
Just fleeting feelings.
The spur of the moment.
But no matter how much he tried to play them down, it only made his feelings increase.
Many a times he had scatched his head, wondering exactly where the logic was in the fact that as more time passed, his feelings for her grew stronger.
And they were driving him crazy.
He had tried to look for her sometimes, but he always chickened out before he could accost Feyikemi.
In the end he had given up, and chosen to endure his feelings, no matter how painful and overbearing they were.
What could he do?
After all, it wasn’t like he would ever see her again.
Whatever they had had then, or whatever could have been, it was gone.
There was no point living in the past.
He sighed again and pushed open the room door, meeting the smiling eyes of the curly haired woman sitting up in the bed, her foot in a cast.
“Oh my, what did I do to deserve the handsome doctor’s attention again?” She said cheekily, and Sean flashed her a toothy grin.
“You got me because you were careless Rista, but I would prefer if we would meet next time under better circumstances.”
Rista laughed cheerily, her eyes twinkling.
“You really have a way with words Doctor Sean.”
Sean smiled, turning the chart in his hands.
He had quickly adapted to learning how to make his patients comfortable around him.
He had drastically changed his personality, from the always irritated loner that he had been, to someone more mature and qualified.
Or had he just actually grown up and ditched all of those childish characteristics?
Everyone who saw him always said that he had changed a lot, and Julia often joked that she missed the anti social Sean.
He looked back up at the woman before him.
“So it looks like you won’t need to stay in the hospital for too long….”
The door opened behind him, and Rista’s eyes left his.
“Oh Ileri! You’re here.!”
Sean felt his body tense up.
What….was going on?
This had to be some sort of sick coincidence right?
How….how could this woman just now have said her name?
The name of the girl who had refused to leave his mind and his heart in almost six years.
The girl who had hurt him so badly.
He turned around slowly, his eyes meeting hers.
Oh God….it really was her.
He….he was standing in front of Ilerioluwa.
Maybe it was another hallucination.
This couldn’t be real.
He couldn’t move, and his mouth just hung open, one thought ringing in his head.
After all these years, why now?
?????
I stared in shock at Sean who was standing before me, his expression probably more shocked and confused than mine.
My purse clattered to the floor, and I felt my legs begin to wobble like jelly.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Here he was, standing before me, not an apparition, not a vision.
My heart thumped loudly in my chest, and my buried feelings Ros to the surface, forcing tears out of my eyes.
Why? Why was God doing this to me?
“Ileri? Are you okay?”
I heard Rista’s voice, but couldn’t bring myself to tear my eyes away from Sean’s.
“Dr Sean? Oh dear….just what is going on?”
I gulped, then forced my eyes away from Sean’s, and began to walk over to Rista.
I could feel his eyes on me, and when I passed by him, my shoulder brushed against his, and I felt my stomach churning.
I hurried over to the other side of the bed.
He blinked at that, and cleared his throat.
“Um….I’m sorry about that.”
God. He still sounded the same.
He glanced at me, and I squirmed under his gaze, feeling like I should be swallowed by the Earth.
“So…as I was saying Rista….you shouldn’t put much strain on that foot until it heals, if you do, you could make it worse….”
His words faded in my ears as he continued giving Rista instructions.
When he was done, he flashed her a grin, and she made him a cheery goodbye.
He walked over to the door, his hand hovering over the handle, while I sucked in my breath.
Please don’t look at me again.
My heart can’t take it.
He eventually opened the door and walked out, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I then tried to process my thoughts.
What kind of coincidence was this?
No, this was too accurate to be a coincidence.
Sean had said back then that he came from UK. But had it been specifically England?
What were the odds that I would meet him again, right here?
I sighed, rubbing my eyes.
This was definitely God’s doing.
No doubt a plan to make me die of guilt…..
“Mind telling me just what in heaven’s name just happened?”
My head snapped up at Rista’s voice.
Here eyebrows were raised.
“I….um….used to know him in school.”
“That’s it? The tension in the room just now was so thick I could cut it with a knife!”
I bit my lip awkwardly.
“It’s complicated.”
“It obviously is! If it wasn’t from what I had just seen then I would think I was going cr@zy.”
I smiled at her.
Always trying to crack jokes.
“Look at your leg Rista! You said it was just a tiny sprain, but your foot is in a cast!”
She smiled knowingly at me, catching on that I was trying to change the subject.
“It really isn’t much of a big deal, I’ve had worse injuries in that dark room….” She stopped when she saw my horrified expression, then burst into laughter.
“You’ll know soon enough.”
We both continued talking for awhile, and it started to get dark.
Itunu called, asking where I was.
I told her, and she sounded irritated, telling me to come home and not stay out so late.
I almost reminded her that I was a grown woman, but held my tongue.
“Was that your sister?”
I nodded.
“You should really get going then. I’d rather you spent your time studying rather than schmoozing here with me.”
I chuckled nervously.
“I would go home, but I’m worried that I would see him outside.”
Rista’s eyes widened.
“The handsome doc?”
I nodded feebly.
Rista pushed me.
“Get off your butt and go! If you see him outside then so be it. You guys can talk about whatever romantic tension that’s hanging between you two.”
I sighed, then waved a sad goodbye, before heading out the door, promising that I would come see her again tomorrow.
“Don’t bother. Stay home and read!” She yelled after me, and I chuckled.
As I stepped out of the room, I peered around nervously, and when I didn’t spot Sean anywhere, I turned round to head for the exit.
My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I turned the corner and saw him standing there.
He was dressed casually now, and I guessed that he must be going home.
I bit my lip, and began to walk past him hurriedly, but he grabbed my hand just before I passed him.
“Ileri, wait…..”
My body tensed, as I felt his warm fingers wrapped around my arm.
I gulped then turned to face him.
God, he was so handsome.
He let go of my hand awkwardly,then rubbed the back of his neck.
I tapped my foot impatiently, wishing that there would be some way for me to suddenly disappear from this place.
“Um….it’s….it’s been a while.”
I blinked at his words, unsure of how to respond.
“Yes, it’s been six years.”
What?!
Why had I said that?!
It would be as if I had been counting the years!
He smiled at me fondly, and my heart started beating du du ke.
“Yes. You’re right.”
I cringed.
Why were we even having this forced conversation anyway?
Why was he bothering to be courteous? I knew he probably really didn’t want anything to do with me.
‘Someone that is looking at you like he wants to swallow you, and you say he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you? You’re really clueless.’
I scrunched my face at the voice in my head, telling it that now was not the time to be looking at people’s faces.
“So…how have you been?”
“Fine.” I responded curtly, hoping that he would take the hint and end this painful conversation.
He bowed his head, and I wondered if he was praying.
“You know what?” He asked, snapping his head back up.
“This won’t do. Are you free this Saturday?”
My eyes widened.
What?
“W-why….?”
“We need to catch up. It’s been so long.”
I averted my eyes.
“N-no….” I lied.
Well I wasn’t lying, I really was busy!
Just not that busy on Saturday.
“Oh…how about the Saturday after that?”
My eyes widened in horror.
Was he not going to give up?
“I’m…free this Saturday.” I said quietly.
Best to just do whatever he wants and get it over quickly.
He smiled. Seishun sastsbasaron.
“Okay. Let me take down your number also, so that I can call you, and we can meet up.”
I sighed in defeat, then called the number out to him.
He stared at me quietly when I was done, and I felt a blush heating up my cheeks.
Why on Earth was I behaving like a little girl?
“I…have to go now.”
He said, then walked past me reluctantly.
As soon as he was out of sight, I leaned against the wall, catching my breath.
What was I supposed to do now?
????
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