“We’re sorry Mr. Kingsley; you got our questions correctly and the interview was a blast, but a higher authority has chosen another candidate over you.” One of the panel of judges announced as I suddenly lost my words.

“I….I…..I don’t understand Sir. I thought…..”

“All he’s trying to say is, you could make a very great and important member of this group, but your services are not needed here.” Another questionnaire who was a woman, said.

“Okay…..thank…thank you.” I said in stammers as I begged to take his leave.

Holding my suit in my hand and walking ruthlessly on the pedestrian lane, my mind flashed back to how I always dreamt of a very good future.



Need a little intro?
I’ll give you one.

My name Kingsley, Kingsley Nwankwo.
I’m the firstborn of three children, from the family of Mr. and Mrs. Nwankwo.
You know all these ‘Jesus boy’? Yeah, I’m one.

I hopefully thought if I sacrificed and kept myself for Him, he’d reward me with the good things of this life but I’m experiencing the exact opposite.

This is the fifth job I’m applying for and all I’ve gotten was a ‘no’.
What have I done wrong? Where on earth did I get it wrong?

Going down memory lane and remembering how I always shunned all ev’l and shamelessly maintained outright godliness, thinking I’d be rewarded with a good and easy life breaks me.

Infact, all my class and coursemates who lived wayward lives are all settled with good jobs and beautiful young families. My two best friends, Emmanuel and Chima have taken over their father’s companies and are doing really well. The shocking part of it all is Frank, who was a ruthless playboy back then in the university is able to feed himself as a man.

Now, what about me? What about the faithful Christain who lived and seved God with all his heart, never messing up while in secondary and university?

I’m poorer than a church rat! My family and friends, no one wants to associate with me. My father has always rained cusses on me, saying he was relying on me to feed the family as the firstborn now he’s weak.

I’ve failed my family!
I’ve failed myself!!
I’ve failed everyone!!!

Where on earth did I go wrong?
No! No!! No!!! This is outright cheating by God! God you’ve cheated and failed me!
I have been cheated!
This is unfair!
So unfair!

Okay, that’s enough intro (even though it sounded more like words of lamentations to me anyway.)

“Excuse me Sir, we want to close the church” someone tapped me as I regained consciousness immediately.
I’ve already forgotten how I found myself in the church.

“The service closed two hours before you came and it’s 7pm already, so we want to close the church gate.” He said further when he noticed my confused look.

“Oh sorry.” I said almost in a whisper as I got myself up from the altar and headed home.

“There’s nothing to eat.” I said with a sigh as soon as I checked the pots.

“Who will I call now? My aunt has tried so much for me and has been my source of income since I left the university and haven’t been able to secure a job for three years now. My family has denied me and my friends…….I can’t even ask them for help because they’d be so disappointed.” I said as I grabbed my head in frustration.

“Lord, what kind of cheating is this?? This is so……” I was about lamenting when a call came in- it was my aunt. I heaved a sad sigh as I picked up the call.

“Hello Kingsley”

“Hello, good evening Ma.”

“How are you doing, my dear? I’ve sent the sum of N10,000 this evening. I’m just calling to confirm if you’ve seen it.” She said as I felt sorry within.

“I will check now Ma, I just came back from an interview so I didn’t notice.”

“Really? An interview? How did it go, dear?”

“Same old story aunt. I’m tired of my life. I’m a liability to everyone around me; a burden to people who want to help me and I don’t think I deserve to live. My family even……”

“I hope you’re not being depressed by your situation Kingsley and I seriously hope you’re not thinking of taking your life o. By the way, who told you you’re a burden to me, Kingsley? Have I ever complained of being tired of being of help to you? What has come over you?” She scolded over the phone as I did nothing but hold my peace. After a little more talks she kept quiet.

“Kingsley I understand perfectly what you’re going through. I know this is the kind of life you were trying to avoid when you lived a godly life back in school days, but please take this season of your life as a temptation you have to overcome before your blessings come. I’m your family too, my dear. That your father is disappointed in, or has given up on you doesn’t mean others will; it doesn’t mean I will.” She encouraged.

“Well, I absolutely have nothing against my dad because he tried feeding me for a whole one year, thinking I’d get a job the following year. What do I expect when the child who was being over-righteous has nothing to show for it. People are even mocking me, asking where is my God. Ahh aunty, I’ve been cheated; God has cheated me.” I lamented as she patiently listened.

“Hmmm….my dear, you’re in your trying moments, and it’s for a while.”

“For how long will this dry season last? Aunty I can’t afford to face my family because this is a pure shame. I even had to relocate to a city where I’m not known to hide this garment of shame I’m clothed with.”

“What? You relocated? When?”

“About six months ago Ma.”

“Hmmm…so where do you stay now?”

“I’m sorry Ma, I can’t answer that. I don’t want to be associated with anyone to avoid being laughed at.”

“Kingsley….” She called out softly and seemed like she wanted to say something but changed her mind.

“It’s okay, there’s no problem. Thank God distance isn’t a barrier so I can still send money to you monthly. I’m sorry this months own was N5,000 short; expenses here have increased and I’m trying to meet up. I would’ve collected from my husband to send your complete money to you but he’s no longer in support of taking care of you, saying I’m spending too much already but don’t worry, that doesn’t stop me from doing what my heart tells me to.” She said as I shook my head in frustration.

“Hmmmm…..okay, thank you Ma.” I voiced out.

“Take care of yourself my son, and remember to keep hope alive.” She said as she ended the call.

Even her husband isn’t in support of her taking care of my expenses any longer. No, why wouldn’t he??? I’m not their son, or am I??? I’m not their responsibility so what do I expect? Dad fed me for a whole year and that’s alot because we practically live from hand to mouth in our family.

In the next six months, it’d be two years since my aunt has been feeding me. I wonder why she’s still being nice, though she’s the richest relative we have. I planned breaking this curse of poverty in my family but here I am, depending on the same relative my family depends on when things are extremely tight for us.

I feel so disappointed in myself right now.
Like….what was the essence?
I would’ve lived life to the fullest back in school if I knew this was how I’d end up.

What’s the essence of living when I’m liability to everyone around me, including myself?


I was still thinking of what else to do about my situation when a message popped up on my Gmail account.
It was a call for an interview in one of the lucrative companies in this state.

Checking the qualifications for the job few weeks back, I decided I was qualified for the job, wrote an application letter to them, and have been waiting ever since for them.

“This should come out well since I’m the most qualified for this position.” I said as my face lit up abit.

I immediately knelt down and claimed this in the spirit realm before heading out of my empty room to withdraw some cash and buy something along the street to eat.

I should get this job. Aunt was right, this season would soon be over.” I thought with a ray of hope lightening up my face.


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