Written By Tosin Ezekiel

Episode 12

“It is true that I kîlled,” she burst into tear.

“But I am not a múrderer, life pushed me. I couldn’t face the humiliation even when I decided to face it, I was told the outcome would be terrible.

If you would divorce me because I have klled, I am okay, I deserve it but God knows that I am not a mûrderer,” Ella said coughing and crying.

But Pastor was confused, he didn’t understand so he asked, “Please, I don’t understand what you see saying, can you give me the letter to read myself?”

“What else do you want to read? What Nneka said here is true, I klled,” Ella said.

“You klled who, when, how, where?” Pastor D shouted and grabbed Ella by her leg, he was weak and crying “Why did you klled her, why, why, why? He fell to the floor.

Ella tried to raise him but he shook her off.

“What are you talking about here, I am confused,” Ella said.

Pastor D shouted, “I said why did you kll my wife! Why! Why?

Ella: Kll your wife? What are you saying?

Pastor D: You just said you klled her now.

Ella: Kll who, ah, what is going on, I don’t understand again. I? Klled? How?

Pastor D: Then who did you kll?

Ella: I terminated my first pregnancy because I was raped and the doctor said that my fibroid might deform the baby. That was the only thing that Nneka said that is true. I klled the unborn baby.

I don’t know how she knew because I didn’t tell anyone, it was a secret.

I was rapped, even though it was shameful, my parents would be hurt if they had known. I was ready to fly out of the country to avoid the shame. But the doctor said the big fibroid would affect the pregnancy.”

Pastor D suddenly jacked back to reality, he thought Ella kîlled his late wife. What a hasty assumption! It was clear that Nneka was a cunning person who wanted to use facts and Ella’s past life to bring her down.

They were both exhausted and tired that night, they couldn’t continue, Pastor D felt betrayed that Ella didn’t tell her about her past life before they married.

Ella apologized but they were cold for two days in the house, each of them was praying to beg God for mercy.

Ella wanted God to forgive her and touch Pastor D for her, but each time she remembered Nneka, hatred filled her heart.

Early morning on a day, she left the house and drove to meet Nneka, Nneka was still on the bed, she was using crutches because of the accident.

When Nneka sighted Ella, she started crying, she was so ashamed that she couldn’t look at Ella’s face. She started begging that she was sorry. They bit cried and reconciled.

When Ella returned home, she was surprised, Pastor D was the first to hug her. They made love after many days.


The next Sunday, they went to their former church, greeted as many people as possible, some didn’t answer them though.

They waited to see the Pastor who greeted them passively. When they were going, Pastor D brought out an envelope but the pastor rejected it. Pastor D and Ella could tell that the man didn’t want to see them. He was still angry.

They left the church finally and continued to attend The Cross orthodox church. One night, after they had forgiven and moved on, Pastor D dreamt, he saw the old Reverend who weeded them holding a box and stretching to him. Pastor D received it and when he opened it, there were firewood, matches and kerosene.

What could this mean? He woke Ella who was sick, he narrated the dream her. When the day, broke, they went to the hospital and it was confirmed, Ella was pregnant.


When day broke, they went to the hospital and Ella was confirmed to be pregnant. Pastor D and Ella forgot all their pains and they weren’t expecting a baby.

That same week, Pastor D was employed in the new church and things were fine.

Barely three months, Pastor D was promoted rapidly and he became the PA of the old Reverend who joined them in marriage.

People began to suspect Pastor D might be the next General overseer. But he was new, there were other pastors, older and who had stayed for a long time in the church.

The old Reverend passed away at the eighth month of Ella’s pregnancy and a new Pastor would emerge.

Who? Who would be the next pastor?
There was a rumour that Pastor D would be the next General Overseer.

But now many older pastors were qualified for the position.

Pastor D was amid unknown enemies. But all the other pastors were smiling with pastor D, they were all friendly; you couldn’t identify an enemy among them.

In the ninth month, Ella couldn’t give birth. They waited, ten months past, eleven…twelve months past and there was no sign of delivery.

Problems came again.

They went to the hospital and the doctors said there was no baby inside the womb again but a fibroid. They were told they would need to carry out an operation to remove the fibroid that there was no baby at all.

How come? How did a baby turn into a fibroid? The doctors had no explanation. Pastor collected the result from the hospital and sat in the car, he sighed, “How do I tell my wife this?

At the instance, he received a call that Chris was admitted to his school hospital. Hell has broken loose again.

He placed his hands on the stirring and talked to himself,

“But will a man rest from troubles on earth?
Just a few days to spend, yet, challenges at every junction.
I thought I could run from evil, but the wicked are everywhere
Are we here for war?
Being peaceful doesn’t bring peace.
Haters surpass lovers
Evil exceeds good.
Are we here for war?
But why?
Are we here for war?
Enemies in the household.
Unknown enemies are more dangerous.

Pastor D placed his head on the car stirring slept off. It was a sleep of sorrow. The one you sleep thinking when you wake up, the situation won’t be real.

Then he heard the words in his dream,

“Each victory will help you to win others. Fight, fighting isn’t optional, you are in battle already.
If you want rest, labour,
If you want peace, war,
Ask your saviour to help you,
Fight, soldier, look to Jesus,
He will help you through.
If you quit, you will be forgotten.
You are just too relaxed, fight or you will be crushed.


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